Advice on proper set up of a drumset to avoid disaster?

[T. Conway]

I've never known that there was a 'proper' way to set up a drumset.  I always just put things where they felt most comfortable and went at it.  I have to compensate for my height, I'm even short for a female at 4'8", but that's never stopped me from being a heavy hitter.  Consequently, I go through a lot of drumsticks.  Recently I had a spectacular break, so for fun, I posted it on the Pearl Drummer's forum wondering if I should go with another type of stick.  Once they told me I should go back to get lessons because my technique was obviously nonexistant, all I could do was tell myself, hey no matter what, it's a bunch of guys and me, seemingly the lone woman.  I'm blowing it off.  However, they did give me some good advice about the angle of the toms which seems to make sense from a geometric  point of view.  I've always turned my toms in a lot so that I could reach them (short body, short arms) and this was causing my sticks to hit at the wrong angle.  Cool.  Fixed that and now I'm not so comfortable, but I'm not denting the heads.  I'm sure I'm still going to break sticks.  Anyone have any advice on the angle of the cymbals, hi hats and anything else that would help to set up a kit according to one's height?  I'm not asking for measurements or anything, that's impossible, just the theory behind proper angles.  How should a stick hit a cymbal?  How do you know if your hi hat is too high or too low?  It's about more than comfort if you're breaking sticks like a banshee. 

 

Thoughs, comments??